This is so true, when you sincerely tell God he can use you,. At that time you don’t really realize what you are saying, because he surely will. We tend not to think about the painful ways we might be used to touch others. I love her honesty in saying that she is afraid and don’t look forward to going through it. I’ve talked a while about the scripture that says “be of good courage“This is an example of what I think it means!! To go forth in such a way that doesn’t show your fear, but shows your faith. I think you have to have fear to show courage. Think about it if you weren’t afraid you wouldn’t need courage.

     Only seconds before seeing this video on Facebook I was complaining indirectly, through songs I was posting. I was complaining about some unjust suffering that I have been enduring for a while now. It hit home immediately when I saw this. It was nothing I didn’t know or haven’t shared so it really cut! A matter of fact I’ve come to the place many times in life where it has come to me ” Marshall You Said He Could Use You, You Volunteered.” I have also applied it in this situation and many others saying that; your going through this will help many others not go through this and will teach others how to go through it when you decide to share it. But if you don’t know it that insight doesn’t help with the pain of going through it. But the great thing is I can look forward to getting past it, because he said it came to pass not it came to stay. But, its so easy to slip into acting as if we don’t know because we don’t like to suffer when its just punishment, so u know its bad when its unjust suffering!!

     I really hope that this is not another setback, but if it is I know there is nothing I can do about it. I’ve prayed that it’s not and if it is that God gives me the strength to keep coming like he always does. Yesterday it didn’t feel so good to even have the thoughts that I could possibly be out for a long period of time again. Nobody wants to wait and I feel that I have waited long enough.

Check This Video Out!!

I’m Sure The People That Know Him Don’t Get Him & Will Never Understand. They Probably think he misses out on so many normal life experiences. He hears often that he needs to take some time off & that he is not Living & Needs To Live Life. But to Him I’m Sure he feels they are Just wasting a Life Not Striving to be GREAT. He would probably rather die today if he knew he would never reach greatness # I know this feeling very well!! Few will understand & most that think they do have no clue!!

     A lot of this hating is really just jealousy. Again if you feel this way there is something seriously wrong on the inside of you and not with the other person. You need to try to take measures to fix it ASAP! Many cause themselves to be jealous because they are not in the correct lane in their lives that will ever cause them to be successful, and then get mad when others succeed.

     I have used this analogy before. Ok, I see a famous cup on T.V. but I am a plate. I’m excited and want to be a cup because I want to make lots of money and be on the screen too. So, I spend all my time trying to practice to be the best at carrying liquids, remind you that I am a plate. Now I get this job carrying liquids and I am not doing well or even close to the people at the top. Consequently, I’m pissed because they are having effortless fun doing their jobs and I’m working much harder and being less productive. Now, I start wanting them not to be successful “Jealousy” and the hating begins. It’s not their fault it’s mine; I should be somewhere holding solid foods!!!

     Have you ever been driving and someone is all in your lane and think you are in there lane and they start blowing and getting mad? Sometimes right after they notice they were wrong and either speed off or try to apologize. But what’s sad is there are some people that never realize they were in the wrong lane go home mad, talking about it or get road rage and kill someone, or get so mad that they have a heart attack. Don’t be that guy stop to see if you are in the wrong lane before you react.

     In my opinion the area you should be in shouldn’t take you much effort to be good in, but working very hard should make you great in it. Another Marshall original ; ) LOL There are one or more areas in your life that you can really be great in. I will talk about how to find out what these things are in part TWO. Have a great weekend!!!

     I am very good with money I always have been. I pretty much don’t buy anything unless I need it. I rarely go anywhere outside of training and I don’t have any bad habits. Yes, I could have easily gotten a 9 to 5 job somewhere and pissed away my abilities and goals that I had been working for the last seven years, but that isn’t an option. The people that are the best in the world only do that one thing. Those hours they spend are one of the two major things attributed to them being great.

     My little side job added a very small amount of cushion. I was talking to Rhadi and was telling him that I’m about to run out of money. He told me, “No you are not do you ever run out? God is going to run you into something else as he always does!!” We also talked about me getting back into school from time to time, because I always planned on going back to become a psychologist. I know that fighting is a very short career.

     Months passed by and my hand was still hurting, so I got a cortisone shot. Even though I was out of shape because I hadn’t been able to train, I was trying to schedule fights around when I thought my hand would feel better. Long story short August came and I was down to my last $100 and had not paid rent yet, so obviously I wasn’t going to be able to pay it. The student loan people called and let me know that I was on my last deferment. I think it was Rhadi that I told this to as well but I can’t remember. Anyways whoever it was they told me that you know once this last deferment is over you can’t get a student loan anymore. Right then the light bulb came on and said I got to get in school.

     I realized I can kill three birds with one stone!! I could take steps to pursue my education, get the student loan people off of my back, and take out a larger loan to live to fight another day. I had to make the decision to invest in myself!

     So, I went around for weeks getting the run around with school but I’m very persistent. So I finally got in, and was told that I basically would be given permission to take the hardest class from the program and the next to the hardest class. About half the students in the class either failed this Statistics class last year or dropped it. So, I’m finally in the class but I’m behind because of the run around and the fact that the students in this class had recently taken the basic level of stats. This class jumps right in lightening speed past all of the basics. Remind you I don’t remember one thing from basic stats at this time. I took Stats 10 years ago. On top of that it was taking forever for the student loan to go through and get dispersed. So, I can’t buy the $260 book.

     Shortly after I got the book I found out I was on the Shogun Fight Card. So needless to say I failed the first test horribly and I did a little better on the one that was a week after the fight, because I didn’t leave it blank like I did the first one. I’m sure the professor thinks I’m going to drop it but I’m not. I’m going to come back like I do in everything else and surprise her!! I’ve noticed that some have dropped the class. I’m going to blast through this next test and the final and hope that she gives me a little help because she sees that I have mastered the material.

Thanks again GUYS!!!!!!