Part 2 Hypnosis Session Got A Little Too Real!!!!

Posted by admin in Blog      No comments

Nov
22

     The more I sat there as Angry Man the more real it became! It felt the same way I have felt so many other times in life for a split moment. You know, like when you are driving and someone cuts you off almost making you have an accident and you blow your horn. Or for me like the one time I was leaving a football game with a girl I was dating and her female friend. I was in the back of the tinted SUV. She pulled off from the sign the police officer gave that looked like he was saying go. As soon as she pulled up he screamed to the top of his voice at her, saying “I SAID STOP!!” I lost it rolled my window down and went the *BLEEP* off!! I can’t stand for women, kids, or myself to be disrespected!! This was years ago but months later she told me that that turned her on? Women are crazy! Not saying that we aren’t but that’s a whole other blog!lol

     Anyway this was so amazing because I have a lot of instances where this has happened for a brief moment, but it was never intentional. We kept this going for a while. He later told me to calm down open my eyes and go back to the other seat and imagine I was the normal me. It took me a couple of minutes to calm down before I moved. Even after I changed seats I could feel the residue of it lingering. Part of it was like a feeling that I was just in an altercation. The other part kinda felt real similar to when I get into deep worship and can still feel it in my face and body when I’m done. Sometimes it’s to the point where my voice even totally changes and my face is involuntarily tingling and pulsating .

     After going through that a couple more times adding some real actions of him pushing me and me pushing back he had me to imagine the nice me on my left shoulder and the angry me on the other. I wanted to giggle on the inside because it reminded me of one of my childhood favorite cartoons “THE SMURFS”. When they wanted to do wrong they had the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. Anyway he had me to imagine them coming close together to shake hands but being a little apprehensive with each other before they actually did.

     I understood what he was doing. He was trying to get me to subconsciously bring both of those parts of me together, so they would no longer work independently. They both are needed for survival. My background and degree is in psychology, because I love it and am very analytical. So, I already knew the reasons why I am the way I am but didn’t know how to fix this particular issue.

     I believe many people are this way. This is why you have people that were considered fat lose weight and look great but still act fat so to speak. They still carry themselves with low self esteem and except things that they shouldn’t have ever accepted in their present or past. It’s not just with weight! There is scripture that says you can’t put new wine into old wine skin. It can’t contain it, it will burst. It’s the same with us we can’t attain a new mind set with an old self imagine still there. No matter how hard you try and speak and meditate I’m going to do this or that it won’t help. If it does help briefly you will snap right back like a rubber band because you can’t long escape your self image. It has to be dealt with first. Sweeping things under the carpet doesn’t work that long. Eventually you will have a big lump that you will trip over!! So own and deal with your stuff before you fall and hurt yourself or worse others to!!

Hypnosis Session Got A Little Too Real!!!!

Posted by admin in Blog      No comments

Nov
16

     I must admit I was a little skeptical about going into a trance in therapy to keep me from getting to aggressive in my fights. I don’t think I knew what to expect, or whether I should expect anything. But, last week’s session was really interesting. He explained that I always operate on one of the ends of the pole. Either I’m at level zero or level ten in everything. There is no in between for me and that he was going to help me change that so i will have balance.

     He explained that I’m normally nice Marshall but when something threatening happens I turn into aggressive Marshall. He explained to me that this is normal with people who have gone through traumatic life threatening experiences. It’s the same energy a mother has when she fights a bear away from her child or lifts a car to save a trapped victim. He explained that this is a good thing that happens to protect us. He also explained that I didn’t want to get rid of this because it is a powerful thing to be able to tap into and that I would need it in my fighting.

     He decided to do an exercise that would give me practice controlling this but would possibly bring on the aggressive feeling. He also asked if I was ok doing it. Of course I said yes because I want this problem fixed even though I didn’t think I would really experience anything. He took me through a process that basically had me close my eyes and imagine that I saw the angry aggressive me sitting in the chair across from me. Next, he had me to get up sit in that seat and pretend I was the vision of the angry me. I’m thinking to myself wow he’s serious so I’m going to do this the best I can.

     So, I’m sitting in the chair with my hands clasped together, he said no thats nice Marshall, separate your hands and ball your fists. Also get into the posture of him! He said now see nice Marshall sitting over there and tell him he’s a Fucking Pussy! I said nothing in shock. Then he said say it and tell him you had to come along to take care of him. I did, then he started naming recent and past things I’ve gone through. Then it got real! I started saying if I was there instead of you none of that would have happened ect. Before I knew it I had become angry Marshall. I was breathing harder and talking real aggressive. I could feel it all in my chest and face. It got so real the Doctor said angry Marshall promise me that you’re not going to get up. (lol)

     While I was in this state I was totally aware of what was going on. Since this is getting long and I’m not nearly finished I’ll finish the story tomorrow.

Check out the video below of me doing a work out using the high altitude machine:

She Sounded Like A Dying Cat!!

Posted by admin in Blog      No comments

Nov
11

     I never turn on a T.V. unless it’s a rare occasion when I put in a DVD. I haven’t watched T.V. in the last ten years. Of course when I’m at someone’s house and they have it on I really have no choice. Let me take that back I did watch the Golden Girls a couple times a couple years ago when I use to live with Jim Kelly and Mike Denny. It was Mike’s favorite show after training. I must admit it was a good time!!lol

     Anyway on Sunday I passed by the T.V. while Leslie was watching some reality show called the House Wives of Atlanta or something like that. I heard a woman in the studio recording a song and she sounded like a dying cat or something. It caught my attention so I stopped and watched like five minutes of it. This woman was at the studio recording under the supervision of her friend who use to be in a famous singing group.

     The whole time the woman was singing the friend was making faces to others in the studio that said she is horrible. She never told the girl who was singing. She told her to go back to the vocal trainer if she didn’t just want to be a one hit wonder. She never told the friend that she was really wasting her time and money and would never even be a one hit wonder. She gave the girl who was singing the demo to listen to in her car. This lady played the song for one of her other friends on the show and that friend told her the beat didn’t work for her.WTF!

     When you have friends like this who needs enemies? My circles are very small for good reasons and one is I don’t need or want people around me that will lie to me or just tell me what I want to hear. I know a few people who want people around them just to hype them up. That only feeds you false securities and keeps you from true growth. I would rather a person totally not communicate with me at all, than lie to me. I don’t want to feel good momentarily about what I’m doing I want to be good at it.

     Later that night I was talking to a friend on the phone and they pointed out a flaw in me. It made me appreciate them a whole lot more because they were able to give me good examples of me doing it. It really made me feel good to see a flaw, because it gave me something to work on that would make me a better person. It also made me feel good that someone was paying that much attention, because I am the person normally pointing out things and giving advice to so many others. So, this is definitely a friend that I will be keeping in my circle. That showed me that we will be able to help each other grow, not like the one sided friendships I have mostly encountered.

     If you haven’t been, start telling your friends the truth. This doesn’t mean you have to be mean to them when doing it. If you are a person that doesn’t receive criticism well, stopped getting defensive and mad at others you are only hurting yourself! We all have things that are wrong with us and need help with them. So chose your friends wisely!! “Just as Iron Sharpens Iron So Should Friends Sharpen the Minds of Each Other”

ASP Training Video

Day Light Saving or Wasting Time?

Posted by admin in Blog      No comments

Nov
8

     How many times have you thought I wish I had more hours in the day? I know I think and say that all the time. I’ve been often told if I had more time I would still want more, because I would find more to do.

     This past weekend I didn’t feel to well. I felt really tired and had pressure in my head. I thought to check my blood pressure but it wasn’t that bad. I don’t normally ever get sick but remembered that this time of year my sinuses act up and I never know why my head feels funny. So, I took some sinus medicine from cvs in hopes that I would feel better.

     I woke up Sunday morning with my clock saying eleven thinking I can sleep another hour because I go to the 1 o’clock service. Good thing cell phones change on there own. Once I saw it was really 10 o’ clock I thought I should just get up and go to 11:30 service and be more productive since I now have time to make it. I also thought since my body is use to getting up at the same time during the week for training, I should still get up as if time hasn’t changed and train more! Just to let you know I lounged around and still went to 1 o’clock service. lol

     During the message I felt inspired to do something else this week during this time that will help me be more productive. It prompted me to do something that I use to do often that helped me move forward faster in my life. I believe this will also help bring back the focus that I have yet to get back since the tragedy hit. Anyway, After leaving church I felt super tired. Leslie offered to drive and said have you noticed that when ever you don’t do your normal thing of doing a million things in a day you don’t feel well. I had to think about that. It seems to be sometimes true but can’t say if it’s totally valid or not right now. When I said that she said “yeah right”, but I take nothing at face value I don’t care who it is!

     I’m sure there are some things that you have put on the back burner for a long time. If you don’t have anything you might be like me can’t stand getting up earlier, but know that if you got up a little earlier you might be able to arrange something that you do later in that spot. It might make your day run a little smoother. Either way I suggest that you start getting up one hour earlier to be more productive before your body adjusts. I know if I don’t jump on it now before my body adjusts it probably wont get done because my days are long and I like to hold on to the bed as long as possible! If neither of these were you sit down and think of something you can put in this time instead of wasting it!

Check out the video below, I’ve been wondering if this is why my head has been bothering me?

Part 2 Trying to Keep Um From Leaving!

Posted by admin in Blog      No comments

Nov
5

     After the texted that they wanted to quit I sent a stream of messages. I’m going to tone down what I really said. I basically said that If you want to quit then quit but I don’t want to read anymore text or talk about it. I have said what I have to say about it and encouraged numerous times before the start of classes up to now. Only call or text for support. That’s what im here for, not to tell you what you want to hear.

     I love analogies so of course I had to use one. Most of you will say that it was terrible and wrong but I don’t care because it was my thought!! I thought about the many pro athletes that get tricked into having kids. I thought about the rock star that was given oral sex and the woman injected herself with the sperm and got millions. I hope I would never put myself in a position like that but, if some tried to trick me like that before I reached my goals I would move to another part of the world and keep training.

Of course I know I have nothing. It was just to show the type of mindset I have. I told them that I have a goal and nothing or no one is going to keep me from achieving it. I don’t care what it feels or looks like. In the end I will win because I won’t except anything less. Not saying I won’t lose a lot of battles but, winning the war is what matters.

     I have an older sister who is doing an online RN nursing program. She is not married, works full time, lives only with her two sons. One is in his first year of high school and the younger one has a different learning style. With bills, not having a class room setting and spending more time than a normal parent helping with homework is very stressful. Even though her program is not as hard as my other relative, these other factor play a bigger toll. She cries and keeps going because she knows that it could be a whole lot worse, but will soon get better. Master Lloyd always says “Things are Never as Good as they seem and things are Never as Bad as they seem.”

     I noticed a similarity in a spoiled friend this summer. They were in a place where they could save a marriage that they destroyed, but they were unable to be consistent enough to do the hard work that was needed. They were also the youngest child that had always been the best in everything. In school they were valedictorian. In a great career they are the boss ect. at a young age. They said they use to look at it as a blessing that everything came to them so easily, but now they see it as a curse. They said they knew that they were losing the person that treated them better than anyone in life, and would never find another like them. They said they had tried over and over but just didn’t have the ability to consistently work that hard for anything. They never learned too because everything came so easily.

     I wise person emailed me yesterday after reading the blog. “Certainly anything worth having comes with sweat and tears. However, I’ve also learned that today’s youth do not have what I and definitely the previous generations had, physically or mentally. Suicide rates are at an all time high for Africian-Americans. Because they are spoiled, (as so many others) they do not understand struggles. Therefore, I’m sure it’s painfully difficult for them. You wouldn’t understand that because you’ve seen struggles so many times before. They just need to get to a point where they realize what they want out of life and how bad they want it. You can encourage but also support. They need to make decisions today; they can live with tomorrow, with no regrets, on their own. Then they can’t blame anyone but themselves.”

     Consequently, I texted my relative last night letting them know that I loved them but have to be tough. I just didn’t want them to look back on this and regret it when it’s too late. They didn’t respond to any of my messages yesterday, but did this afternoon after I was transparent in text this morning. Text said I had a moment and have many days I wish I could disappear. Not from one realm like school but from everything, but I will pray, praise, and worship and get things done. After I did that I felt like a new person and am now finished with today’s Blog. Sorry that its long again they will be back short next week!lol I hope!