The Crack Pipe In My Life

Posted by admin in Blog

Sep
24

I must admit I use to look down on people with addictions. I often said I don’t understand how they could get caught up into something like that. It just seemed like common sense. Just don’t even try the stuff. We have all seen movies and stories about people who do crack and end up on the streets.

I have always been super disciplined and mentally strong. About six years ago I had to face the fact that I wasn’t as strong as I thought. I started going to the casino just to do something. I really don’t go out. I found myself on the crap tables. I started winning and felt the rush and focus! This became a problem because eventually I started to lose. For some reason when I started to lose a little I would think I’ll win it back. Eventually I would lose everything. I kid you not every time I lost the very next roll, my numbers would start hitting 6 and 8 and hard 6 and 8. I would then go to the ATM and lose more money.

This got so bad. I thought I could manage it by only taking a certain amount of money and leaving my card and checks at home. I thought you are not going to drive 45 minutes back home. Wrong!! I would RUN to the car and tear it apart hoping I had missed a check. I would then drive home 45 mins and another 45 back to the casino. Many nights I would come out and it would be the next day. I even tried to take the girl friend with me that I had at the time. The plan was I would let her keep my money and she was not to give me anymore under any circumstances!! This did not work! You guys can see from my videos I can be super hype! It immediately went to the crazy man give me my MONEY! I don’t care what I said earlier listen to what I’m saying now.

I started noticing that when I came back the next day, a couple of people would still be there with the same clothes on with that look! I would drive home with a terrible feeling of why can’t I stop this? I know better. One of my closest family members has had this exact same problem’s at least ten years prior and still to this day. I had spent thousands of conversations telling him how this makes no since and how he should stop. So I had no excuse!

It finally hit me that year when one of the casino managers came to me while I was reloading at the ATM and said “What college do you go to. You look like a good young man and I see you here too much. I don’t want you to be like those guys look at them! I don’t want to see you here again. I had never noticed her before.”

That was It for me! That problem ended there. Before, I tried to manage the crack pipe and set up parameters. You can’t manage your CRACK PIPE whatever it may be in your life. You have to kill it right away. I have never seen anyone watering or fertilizing the weeds in there yard. Neither can you do it with your Pipe. The weeds will keep growing because you are feeding them and then cover and kill the beautiful flowers that you do have in your life. I had to take steps to kill it right away like a suicide bomber. You can’t negotiate with him! I had to openly confess to others that I had a problem. This helped because I knew people would be watching me. It gave me a since of accountability and perspective. You cannot deal with the crack pipe by yourself because you can’t give yourself perspective! If you have thoughts of doing things you know you shouldn’t, as much as you don’t want to, share it with somebody who cares and will help you and not judge you. Don’t wait it might save your life, job, marriage ect! Once you do get away stay away because those desires aren’t dead, but are waiting on an opportunity to grow again!!

Check Out The Video Below Of Me Starting back Kicking