I’m Going Home To Mississippi part 1

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May
5

     I was just telling a couple of my family members Sunday before my accident that I was probably going to pack everything in my car after the fight and move back home to Mississippi. The conversation started because there were a couple jokes made about my upcoming fight. I explained that this wasn’t the time for jokes and that I’m never in a joking mood at least a month before a MMA fight. This is why I cut everyone off during this time. My whole personality, mood, and focus changes on it’s on, with no respect of person.

     I explained to them that in the past I would hear jokes about you gone get knocked out or something when that’s not funny. It would be no different than someone coming to someone and saying today you are going to get fired from your job and lose everything haha except millions would witness it!! I explained that I have lost everything on this journey and have nothing left and that I would probably leave after the fight If something doesn’t happen soon. The income I have coming in would end in a couple months. I’m not a person that is going to wait until the last minute to prepare. I never want to be in a position where I have to depend on anyone!

     One family member continued to joke and like I said my mood during this time is night and day from me normally. Many nights I couldn’t sleep at all visualizing the fight. I had many instances of forcing bad outcomes out of my mind and replacing them with positive ones. Thoughts of everything is riding on this. Thoughts of the people who I know are against me as well as those who don’t believe in me. Thoughts of the fact that I hadn’t fought in 3 yrs. Thoughts of people saying there’s no where for you to go but up, and me knowing that’s not true. There are many talented people on the corner who gave up everything to reach their dreams but didn’t make it and are more talented than Jordan. Every possible thought on top of the normal anxiety that comes along with being a perfectionist and am going to be in a cage one on one with another man knowing that one of us has to win.

     I didn’t say all of that but I summed it up and said I know that a lot of family and people will be happy to see me back so they can say I knew he couldn’t do it! I also stated that Noah’s family and friends didn’t believe in him either!! As, if I would stop because I’m there? I’ve said it a million times and seen it a million times “My blessings don’t come from a particular place or people they come from God!!” The people that have should realize that there is nothing they have that he didn’t give to them, whether they acknowledge it or not. “Well I used my brain and worked hard for it!” Who do you think gave you the brain and work ethic? You could have easily been born in a different state, but those he gives to he expects to give and help the ones in need!! Anyway that’s another blog!!

     I use to be the person to call everyone for holidays and their birthday’s or just because but decided to stop when I got tired of always being the one calling. Everyone feels you should call them. I feel that all relationships should go both ways. I’ve never seen anywhere where God was a respecter of person but commanded us to love one another and treat each other the way we want to be treated. Anyway, one family member continued to try to make jokes. I felt like the incredible hulk on the inside, and I thank God that I was able to hold it in. I thought by telling them my state earlier they would have some type of empathy but was wrong. They also later got an attitude with me because I wasn’t entertaining them when I had just explained earlier that I couldn’t help the state I was in. So, from now on during this time I know to follow my first mind and stay home, because everyone has a right to say and do what they want in there own home!! Part 2 tomorrow it’s getting to long!!

The Video From The Weigh Ins